Introduction to Non-Violent Communication (NVC)

Establishing effective communication skills is a challenge for many of us. Our habits become ingrained and difficult to change. The Non Violent Communication (NVC) model is one framework designed to facilitate a more respectful dialogue; especially during challenging conversations. 

 “Seek first to understand and then to be understood” is a great summary of the model but here are a few questions to help you delve a little deeper.

What’s going on for me? 

What am I observing?

Feeling?

Needing?

Requesting?

Stepping back and cultivating the ability to reflect on your intentions and inner experience strengthens the likelihood for responding versus reacting. The goal is to stop the habit to react, step back and think about these questions.

What’s going on for others?

What are they observing?

Feeling?

Needing?

Requesting?

What is the perspective of the other person? Are you able to open your heart and mind just enough to consider the perspective of another? Remember, curiosity wins over criticism every time.

Set aside a time where you are able to devote a few minutes to asking yourself these questions. Know that they are difficult questions and you may find yourself struggling. It’s ok. Think about other times where you’ve been challenged to learn a new skill or apply new information. It gets easier with time and practice. If you’re not satisfied with your communication stay tuned for more posts about NVC and congratulations for taking the time to read this.