3 Things You Can Do Today To Make Your Relationship Better

Are there days (sometimes longer) when it seems like you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling toward your partner. Whether it’s just a case of the doldrums or an ongoing communication breakdown you can take action today.  

1. Accept responsibility for your part. Maybe it seems as though you are the innocent one but look a little closer.  What messages are you sending with your words and body language? Is it hard to face today’s conflict without bringing up yesterday’s news? Are you working on your end of the relationship or are you busy finding fault in your partner? What have you done lately to breathe fresh air into the relationship?
2. Look for the good. We all respond best to hearing positive feedback but couples sometimes fall into the trap of shining a light on what’s going wrong instead of everything that’s right. What is going well in your relationship? What does your partner bring to the table? Can you spend a day noticing only the good qualities/actions you observe?
3. Manifest curiosity about your partner and yourself. Cut the criticism and focus on questions. Tone down the tone. Ask questions about their life. See if you can ask big open ended ones that have nothing to do with your relationship. What part of their job are they happiest with right now? What dreams do they have for their life? Are they interested in a new band or movie? Rekindle your friendship.

If any of these tips feels impossible or if you truly are feeling stuck in your relationship, get help! Research shows that longer a couple waits to seek out marriage counseling the harder it is to avoid divorce. If your partner won’t consider seeing a therapist with you, do it on your own.