Successful relationship work doesn’t require perfection.But it does ask us to slow down, get honest,  and take responsibility for how we show up. Real change happens when we stop waiting for the other person to shift—and start asking:

What am I doing that keeps us stuck? 

What’s one thing I could try differently?

This isn’t about blame.

It’s about courage.

The courage to break old patterns, show up more fully, and relate from a place of integrity—even when it’s hard. 

In practice, that can look like:

-Taking ownership of your impact, not just your intentions

-Speaking clearly and respectfully, instead of shutting down or lashing out

-Rebuilding trust with small, steady actions

-Being willing to listen—even when you disagree

-Staying emotionally present, especially during conflict

What helps in between sessions?

The everyday moments are where relationships are shaped. 

Here are a few small, steady practices that support connection and nervous system health:

Hellos and goodbyes

Transitions matter. A warm greeting, a kind goodbye, or even just a shared pause communicates: You matter to me. 

These rituals of connection help regulate the nervous system and build emotional safety.

-Reflective journaling

Writing things down builds clarity and strengthens your relationship skills. 

A few DBT-informed prompts to try:

Did I ask for what I needed clearly this week?

Where did I honor the relationship, and where did I honor myself?

Did I act in a way that aligns with my values?

Breathe

Name what’s working

Noticing and naming the good strengthens trust. 

Say thank you. Acknowledge effort. Appreciate the small things—they matter more than we think.

Coming this fall:

This fall we'll  be offering a Saturday morning in person Couples DBT Intro Session—a chance to learn powerful tools for mindful communication, emotional regulation, and staying connected under stress. Details coming soon!

In the meantime, keep practicing the small things.

They’re often the ones that change everything.